Who Wants to Be a Prevaricator?

Suspense! Drama! Lies! The Outfoxed gals bring us unreality tv at its finest. Updated! According to Oliver, they are "wussies"!

Once again, it's time for another installment of Extreme Makeover: Hound Edition, the program that rewards tendentious scriveners for effective and imaginative misreporting and distortion. Extreme Makeover is brought to you by the newshounds (another fine product of the Outfoxed cabal). And we welcome back our returning champion, nancy, who today will continue her quest to climb to the next level on the Tower of Trickery. But to do so, she has to use all her makeover skills to rewrite and falsify what people say on Fox. Remember, nancy has used up all her lifelines, so she cannot call Ward Churchill or Martha Stewart (aka The Liar) for assistance.

All right, let's get right to it. Let's see how our contestant did with her first challenge:
At 6:31pm [Jim] Angle did the "Grapevine" segment: ...Sen JKerry says most Amers were misinformed largely by major media with 77% of Bush voters believing the myths about WMDs -- but Angle claimed that a "minority" actually believed that...

Now let's compare what nancy wrote to what was actually said:

ANGLE: Kerry, quoted by the Washington Post and the Weekly Standard, said 77% of the people who voted for Bush in November believed Weapons of Mass Destruction had been found in Iraq. A poll released just before the election, however, actually showed that a minority of Bush voters believed Iraq had weapons of mass destruction when the US invaded.

Well done, nancy. Ten points for changing a specific statement to the vague "myths about WMDs", rendering it impossible to do specific research on it. Oh, I'm sorry, there is more to our champion's first makeover answer:
Here's a link to the PIPA report so you can see for yourself whether Kerry or Angle is reading those numbers correctly. Hint: Kerry's right.

Audience, do you see how nancy steers people to the PIPA poll, even though there is nothing to suggest it is the source for Kerry's numbers? And that's an excellent diversion from the fact that Angle's figures come from an entirely different poll taken just before the election. This is certainly worth five bonus points. Judges, what say you?

The judges are giving nancy ten points, because the PIPA poll has no data whatsoever about whether voters believed WMD had been found--which was Kerry's claim. In fact, it says only 47% of Bush-voters believe Iraq had WMD at all! That, friends, is great use of an irrelevant citation to support a phony claim. Now let's see how nancy does on her next makeover test:
[Mort] Kondracke claimed it's the Dems "who have broken with tradition here" because "they want to make the filibuster routine" but "it's a violation of Senate rules."

Now, let's roll the tivo:

KONDRACKE: But they want to make filibusters routine, and it seems to me that that's a violation of the Senate rules, of the Senate procedures, of historical precedent, and maybe of the Constitution...

I'm sorry, but nancy only gets three points. Our judges say cutting off three quarters of Kondracke's sentence does in fact misrepresent what he said, but the lack of creativity held her score down. Those are the judges' opinions, of course; a lot of people think nancy's been doing a great job spinning and distorting. You should see the emails, folks.

But our time is running out, ladies and gentlemen, so now we come to nancy's last chance to make the next level of the Tower of Trickery--our infamous bonus round. This challenge will be worth double, and the judges will be scoring on both dishonesty and underhandedness. Please, may we have quiet in the studio. For the bonus round, and possible ascension to the next level of Trickery, here is nancy's answer:
[Mara] Liasson said GOPs will wait to see if Dems do filibuster one of the re-nominees & if they do invoke the "nuclear option" then the Dem "bluff will be called." She said the "only analogy we have is Gingrich" & noted how that backfired. [Fred] Barnes was offended by this reference & immediately changed the subject, calling Reid "hysterical."

LIASSON: The only analogy we have for that is when Newt Gingrich shut the government down and he lost, because the President was able to make him into the culprit. Now I don't think this is the same thing as shutting the government down--I don't think the American people care as much about the Senate as they do about the passport office--but still, there is something--
KONDRACKE: Theoretically, the leadership could insist that the Democrats stage real filibusters. In other words, these round-the-clock, Mr Smith Goes to Washington kind of stuff, and it could be great theater.
ANGLE: Reading from the phone book and that sort of thing.
KONDRACKE: Yes, exactly, you know.
BARNES: I'd like to associate myself with the gentlemen sitting next to me here. Mort, that was great. You were really on a roll there.
KONDRACKE: Uh oh. Uh oh.
ANGLE: You're in trouble now.
BARNES: This is what Republicans are saying, I talked to some of them today about the nuclear option. They're saying when, not if, but when. It's going to happen this spring.
ANGLE: And that's why the Democrats are getting agitated now and threatening, too. And what--
BARNES: Well, Harry Reid, we'd all agree, was hysterical...

All right nancy, it's time for the results, and remember, the decision of our judges is final. Nancy is awarded ten points for falsely claiming that Barnes "changed the subject", another ten points for the use of the term "immediately", and a double bonus of 20 points for the lie that Fred Barnes was "offended" by a remark that he had no reaction to whatsoever. And that means, ladies and gentlemen, that nancy has reached the next level of the Tower of Trickery!

That's all the time we have for tonight. Please join us again next time when nancy continues her quest, right here on Extreme Makeover: Hound Edition. Promotional considerations paid for by Err America.

Update: A few weeks go, Oliver Willis had a complaint--he had criticized several Republican bloggers, and they deleted Willis's trackbacks. So Willis declared them to be "wussies":
No cracks in the echo chamber. Can't have that. Tools! :)

So guess what? The newspoodles deleted our March 17 trackback to nancy's article! No cracks in the echo chamber. Can't have that. Newspoodles? No, newswussies.

posted: Thu - March 17, 2005 at 05:14 PM       j$p  send